Self-Worthiness (Part 2)
In the last post, we talked about how a healthy sense of self-worthiness is the fundamental building block of a happy, loving and successful life. In fact, it's the main reason for many of the emotional problems we face today like low confidence, self-loathing, lack of love, worry, fear, doubt and so on. We also talked about how one of the key characteristics of low self-worthiness is the need for other people's approval for your opinions and behaviour. Another one was how some people feel that they do not deserve happiness and therefore accept mistreatment and abuse from others.
Today, let's go through the main clues that hint at a person's high level of self-worthiness. These are characteristics that we would all do well to master.
First, a habit of thinking and acting spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience. This means that you begin every task with a clean slate. Like an actor on stage, your previous scene has already transpired. Whether or not you stumbled on some words or gave it a lacklustre rendition, it's over. Period. You cannot go back and do the scene again. All you can do is give your next scene your best shot. Thinking about your performance in the last scene only preoccupies your mind with something you can't do a thing about and will likely adversely impact your next scene.
Another characteristic of self-worthiness is the freedom to enjoy each moment, unencumbered by regret or resentment from what's past or fear of what's to come. The past and future are an illusion, as they say. The only "real" moment is Now. If you can't savour the most of it, whatever it is, then you're wasting the moment. And it won't come back. So forget about how you quarrelled with your partner last night, how obnoxious you thought he or she was... today, remember that ultimately, you're in love with each other, you have this beautiful new day to enjoy together, so do it.
A self-worthy person also doesn't judge himself negatively. By "negatively", I mean in a way that is unconstructive and masochistic - that is, consistently saying to yourself "That was a dumb thing to say!" or "That was a stupid thing to do!", "You're so unattractive!" or "You never do anything right!" - you know, making shallow, sweeping statements about yourself without assessing the situation or making a commitment to do better next time. A self-worthy person knows that frequent self-beration gradually breaks down a healthy ego until the brain starts to believe these crippling remarks. The body soon begins to obey what the brain believes in and subconsciously instructs the body to do.
source: Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
要别人认同你，首先你要认同自己。不要小看自己，因为你我都有着无限的可能！
^_^g
Today, let's go through the main clues that hint at a person's high level of self-worthiness. These are characteristics that we would all do well to master.
First, a habit of thinking and acting spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience. This means that you begin every task with a clean slate. Like an actor on stage, your previous scene has already transpired. Whether or not you stumbled on some words or gave it a lacklustre rendition, it's over. Period. You cannot go back and do the scene again. All you can do is give your next scene your best shot. Thinking about your performance in the last scene only preoccupies your mind with something you can't do a thing about and will likely adversely impact your next scene.
Another characteristic of self-worthiness is the freedom to enjoy each moment, unencumbered by regret or resentment from what's past or fear of what's to come. The past and future are an illusion, as they say. The only "real" moment is Now. If you can't savour the most of it, whatever it is, then you're wasting the moment. And it won't come back. So forget about how you quarrelled with your partner last night, how obnoxious you thought he or she was... today, remember that ultimately, you're in love with each other, you have this beautiful new day to enjoy together, so do it.
A self-worthy person also doesn't judge himself negatively. By "negatively", I mean in a way that is unconstructive and masochistic - that is, consistently saying to yourself "That was a dumb thing to say!" or "That was a stupid thing to do!", "You're so unattractive!" or "You never do anything right!" - you know, making shallow, sweeping statements about yourself without assessing the situation or making a commitment to do better next time. A self-worthy person knows that frequent self-beration gradually breaks down a healthy ego until the brain starts to believe these crippling remarks. The body soon begins to obey what the brain believes in and subconsciously instructs the body to do.
source: Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
要别人认同你，首先你要认同自己。不要小看自己，因为你我都有着无限的可能！
^_^g
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