Spoilt for Choice

We live in an age of freedom and choice. 85 types of cookies, 30 varieties of canned soup, and 60 kinds of shampoos at the supermarket. More than 30 TV channels. Thousands of single Singaporeans who might just be the one with whom to share the rest of our lives. And of course, the internet is a world of endless opportunities.

Some people would say that having more options is a good thing. But is it really? Does it improve the quality of our lives? Or are our lives becoming increasingly complex because of the overload of choices? What about discontentment? Are Singaporeans demanding more, appreciating less, and always seeking the best such that they think their present lot is never good enough?

In the book The Paradox of Choice (2004), Barry Schwartz says:
"Not all choice enhances freedom, increased choice among goods and services may contribute little or nothing to the kind of freedom that counts. Indeed, it may impair freedom by taking time and energy we'd be better off devoting to other matters."

Freedom of choice is a good thing, but we are slowly discovering that it has a limit. There is a point at which it becomes a burden. Excessive choice can set you up to have expectations too high for satisfaction. Is this also happening in our relationships? Can no one live up to our expectations because we're looking for the elusive "ideal" mate?

As the number of choices keeps growing, there is an increase in stress, decision-making dilemmas, anxiety, fears, and disappointments. Schwartz suggests that:

1. We might be better off if we embrace certain voluntary constraints on our freedom of choice instead of rebelling against all constraints.

2. We might be better off seeking what is "good enough" instead of seeking out the best.

3. We might be better off if we lower our expectations about the results of decisions.

4. We would be better off if we paid less attention to what others were doing or what they were acquiring.

So think about your freedom of choice today. Is it making your life better? Or has it become a burden?

Credits: Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

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是真的不是吗？当我们拥有着越多选择时，我们就越没有选择的余地。可能真的可以试试那位教授的方法吧。

愿我们都会活得快乐些！

^_^g

【五塊錢的誤會】‏

【五块钱的误会】谈人际关系

希望大家用心来体会文中的含意，想想自己是不是常遇见这种“想说又碍于面子又不好意思说”的情境中...

有一位影剧界的朋友告诉我一个生活小插曲... 某次录像她打电话叫了无线电出租车回家，下车时计费表上显示的是一百八十元，她拿出两百元给司机，司机默默的收了。以台北市的计费标准， 表上加十五元等于车费，她稍微等了一下，以为司机会找五元给她，但司机一点动静也没有，她想，算了，才五元嘛，就拉开车门下车了。关上车门的那一刹那，她才恍然想起自己是叫无线电车的，按规矩需再加叫车费十元，是她还欠司机五元才对。于是她又敲敲前车窗，赶紧把五元再递给司机。司机冷冷地摇下前车窗来，说：「哼，亏你想到了，不然我还以为，连你这样一个名人，也想贪我五块钱的小便宜！」

虽然误会是化解了，但我这个朋友心里老大不舒服，她说：「他为什么不直接告诉我，我少给了他五元呢？」 在日常生活中微不足道的五元，在这给了我们一个启示：是不是有些时候，我们像那个司机一样，无声的在忍耐着某个人的作为，而事实上，我们的沈默反而误解那个无辜的人，让他根本不知道哪里得罪了你？ 你心里因为这样不舒服，他的名誉也因而受损。

为什么你不说出口呢？

很多类似这种「五块钱」的问题, 影响了我们的朋友情谊、爱情品质、人际关系，甚至人的情感...

婆嫌媳妇洗的碗不干净，怕变成坏婆婆，隐忍不说，自行把媳妇洗过的碗再洗一遍。。媳妇当然老大不高兴。觉得媳妇的菜不顺口，硬把每餐揽来自己弄，背地里又感到自己好委屈。

办公室亦然，你虽然喜欢助人，但因别人搞不清楚你「助人」的尺度为何，常做出你认为过份的要求，你默默做了，却咬牙切齿在心里，在别的同事面前对他表示不屑，也是常有的办公室情事。

忍，不一定都是美德。除非你忍了就忘了，但有几人能够呢？

我们想认亏了事，不愿表达自己的看法，但在无意间，我们却以成见，伤害了彼此的关系，或无辜者的名誉。 「不知者无罪」，如果对方并不知道他哪里得罪你，你的忍耐，只会造成他受损而已。忍耐人的时候，脸色通常很难好看，如果你忍耐的对象是自己很亲密的人，他的情绪和你们的关系，一定受损得更厉害！！

so 有话不妨直说吧！我有没有欠大家五块钱 ~~ ^^

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哈哈！很有趣却又发人深省的一篇文章。当月莉小姐传发给馆主时，馆主就觉得这是一篇不得不分享的文章。真的，很多时候我们可能认为忍一忍就过去了，但是，如果我们内心并没有真正放下，而开始埋怨时，我们其实是对对方很不公平的。因为他/她根本就不知道得罪了你啊！

当然，说话时需要技巧的。虽然要跟对方表明你的不满，但是也还是需要礼貌些哦！

大家要来学习学习才行！加油！

^_^g

You're My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.

They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy.

He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee.

In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.

Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in a very serious condition.

With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit (ICU) at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot.

They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now, they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her," he kept saying.

Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over.

Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in ICU. Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not.

"If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive." She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket.

The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed." The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line.

"He is not leaving until he sings to his sister," she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.

He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing.

In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang:

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray." Instantly, the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.

"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr. "Keep on singing, sweetheart."

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms."

Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

"Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

The next day... the very next day, the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman's Day Magazine called it 'The Miracle of a Brother's Song'; The medical staff just called it a miracle; Karen called it a mirale of God's love.

Never give up on the people you love. Love is so incredibly powerful. Life is good.

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真的好感人哦！馆主第一次读这篇文章时就深深地被那三岁小哥哥的爱所感动。其实，他的爱真的很纯、没有任何的条件、没有任何要求回报。以前，馆主记得有人说过，每一个小孩儿都是上帝牵着手来到世界的，所以，越是单纯的爱，越是会被小婴儿感受到。

真的，现代的我们是否已经不相信奇迹就掌握在我们手中？我们是否不在乎也不珍惜我们的手足？能成为兄弟姐妹其实是积了几世的福、栽满了多少的缘分才有的啊。所以，我们就从现在开始，学习着去珍惜好吗？

加油！

^_^g