Self-Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. They may be conscious or unconscious. They may be founded or unfounded. For example?

"I am fat, so no one will marry me."

"I am not lucky; I won't get the job."

Now it may well be a fact that you are fat. That no one will marry you as a result definitely isn't. And luck isn't the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on merit.

Many limitations exist only in your mind. You can do anything if you make up your mind to do it. Determination always finds a way around obstacles.

Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world. They determine our actions or inactions. Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Behaviour produces results (or the lack of them). It all begins with our thoughts, since we have to accept a thought for it to become a belief.

It's been said that whatever you believe becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe. For this reason, two people facing the same situation may interpret it differently, act according to their different beliefs and experience different outcomes.

Fortunately, you can get rid of self-limiting beliefs. But first you have to identify them. They could be lurking in the recesses of our minds without our awareness. Talking with a friend or consulting with a coach could give you more objective feedback as to their existence.

Once you have identified them, these limiting beliefs must be challenged every time they rear their heads. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die. What are some self-limiting beliefs you can reject today?

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缺乏自信心 --- 这应该是我们很多人的通病罢？成功最大的敌人就是自己。因为仗都还没打就投降了。哎哟！要相信自己，因为是你，所以一定能做到的！！！ 加油加油！！！

^_^g

STORIES - The Weight of the Glass

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

Answers rang out through the room. Some said 20g, others said 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

He continued, "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

"Relax! Pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

(adapted from Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio')

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我们是不是常常这样，一直固执地将困难和烦恼扛着，久久不肯放下？压力压力 --- 是压迫自己的一股力量。但是很多时候这股难以承受的力量是来自自己的放不开、放不下。馆主之前有去参加过一个讲座，讲师就将现代人为什么不喜欢回家、或不喜欢家里的人做了一次分析：我们老是喜欢将工作或学校的不开心带回家里 （因为家里人会无条件地受你的气），可是这一来一往就将彼此的距离扩大，让人反感，最后就演变成讨厌家和家人了。

不要将家人当作是理所当然的、不要将你在外受到的气带回家去。家是温暖的，但是它的温暖需要每一位成员来扶持。这份温暖将把你受到的任何委屈减到最低。所以，要好好珍惜！

不要过于给自己压力。记住：快乐就是不把困难变成困扰！

^_^g

三字经 – 长平之战

故事
战国后期，秦国逐渐强大起来，他们加快了统一全国的步伐 (bu4 fa2)，不久就打到了赵国的边境。赵国著名大将廉颇 (lian2 po1) 去长平 (chang2 ping2) 抵挡，有效地阻止了秦国的进攻。秦国采用反间计，派人到处散布谣言，挑拨 (tiao3 bo1) 赵王和廉颇的关系。赵王果然中计，撤换 (che4 huan4) 了廉颇，派只会纸上谈兵的赵括 (zhao4 kuo4) 接替廉颇。赵括轻率出兵，结果几十万大军被秦军包围，赵括也被乱箭射死，赵国40万大军全军覆没 (quan2 jun1 fu4 mo4)。长平之战后，再也没有国家可以和秦国抗衡 (kang4 heng2) 了。

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馆主一直以来最不喜欢，但却发现世间不断发生的现象---人言可畏啊。到底为什么人类会有舌头呢？舌头的创造是为了让天下子民能尝尽人世间的酸甜苦辣、体验人生的种种，更能学习感恩。但是，我们却都把嘴和舌用来道长论短、散播是非谣言。哎哟！

好啦，今天的这篇三字经只有故事，让大家多些认识战国后的事。下回儿再继续其他三字经内容和解说故事咯！

^_^g

An American Mother

My mum only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment.

She cooked for students and teachers to support the family. There was this day during elementary school where my mum came and say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do that to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day, one of my classmates said “EEE, your mum only had one eye!”

I was so embarrassed. I wanted to bury myself so as no one will laugh at me again. I also wanted my mother to disappear.

So I confronted her one day and said “If you’re gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?!”

My mum did not respond.

I was oblivious to her feelings as I was filled with anger. I wanted to have nothing got to do with her. So I studied real hard and got myself a chance to study in Singapore.

After graduating, I got married, bought myself a house and had kids. I was satisfied with my life, kids and the comfort.

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She had not seen me for years and did not know I have kids. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “How dare you come over and scare my children. Get out of here NOW!”

My mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address.” and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding school reunion was sent to my house in Singapore, so I lied to my wife that I have to go on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack that I had stayed out of curiosity.

My neighbours said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she wanted me to have.

"My dearest son,

I think of you all the time so I came to Singapore to visit you. I am sorry that I scared your children. I was glad to hear you coming for the reunion but I may not be able to get out of the bed to see you. I am sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you during the years when you were growing up. You see, I have got no choice. When you were young, you got into an accident and lost your eye. As a mother, I could not stand watching you growing up with one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who is seeing a whole new world, in my place, with that eye.

With my love to you,
Your Mother."

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母爱的伟大不是应该的、不是理所当然的、更不是必然的，却是她无条件为了她疼爱的孩子而奉献的。

我们是否也会瞧不起自己的父母？“唉哟，为什么我父母不是有钱人？”；“为什么我的爸爸不是大老板？”；“为什么我的父母长得这样丢人现眼？”；等。有没有想过，我们的身体发肤是授之父母，他们把我们养大、教育我们、尽力让我们的衣食住行不成问题，可是我们却觉得他们最碍眼、最讨厌。如果不是他们，我们有可能在这世上吗？像这文章中的母亲，她为了不让幼小的儿子承受将来可能被朋友讥笑而将自己的眼睛捐给了他，可是不知情的儿子却以母亲为耻。

这，就是身为孩子该做的吗？

无论我们知不知道父母为了我们付出了些什么（其实并不重要），但是我们只要感恩他们、孝顺他们，就是最好的了。因为他们并不要求任何回报。好好的照顾自己，让自己和家人快乐、和睦共处就是让他们安心、欣慰的最好方式了。

^_^g

三字经 – 卧薪尝胆

始春秋 终战国 五霸强 七雄出


释义
周朝之后，经历了春秋和战国两个时代，这期间出现了五个强大的诸侯争夺霸主，以及七个诸侯国长期割据 (ge1 ju4) 称雄。

故事
春秋时期，吴王夫差 (fu1 chai1) 为报父仇向越国发起进攻，夫差率大军把越王勾践 (gou1 jian4) 包围在会稽山 (kuai4 ji1 shan1) 上。勾践走投无路，只好求和。吴王夫差没有把越国放在眼里，不顾大臣的反对，答应了越国的求和。勾践回国后，立志报仇，他晚上睡在刺人的草垫 (cao3 dian4) 上，还在睡觉的地方挂了一个苦胆，每天都尝一尝，以此激励自己。后来，在勾践的努力下，越国实力不断增强，终于灭掉了五国。

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卧薪尝胆 --- 不断地提醒自己。这就有如我们在每次的期末考后都会答应明年要更努力些，不可以再懒惰、不够用功了。可是，事隔几个星期（甚至几天）我们就把这事抛掷脑后了。结果，历史重演。

对吧？我们就是不够毅力、没有恒心，总是过了就忘。也许，我们应该好好地向勾践学习那“卧薪尝胆”的精神才好。

^_^g

Never Limit Yourself

不晓得大家之前有没有看过这个短片，真的让人蛮好奇的：到底小朋友他为什么把画画成这样？真的是因为心理病吗？所以嘛，我们就因为比较年长，所以就把想法套在小孩儿的身上。其实，一个人的能量和想象力是无止境的。

要勇于发挥自己的潜能和想象力。大家加油哦！

^_^g

STORIES - The Four Wives

Once upon a time, there was a king who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and treated her to the finest things in life.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighbouring kingdoms.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the 1st wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his remaining time was short. He asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most and endowed you with the best. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!"

He then asked the 2nd wife, "You've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."

Then a voice called out: "I'll follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, she was suffering from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

We all have four wives in our lives - our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish on it, it'll leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Soul, often neglected in our pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the flesh. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.

So cultivate, strengthen and cherish your soul. It's our only eternal companion.

- Author Unknown -

(Adapted from Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio')

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哈哈！读惯了华文的文章，这篇英文的会难吗？虽然已经是个老掉牙的故事，但是不乏温故而知新啊！人呢，往往都忽略那最真、最重要的。我们是不是也对我们的“小老婆们”比较好呢？也许，是时候好好地关心和照顾我们的“大老婆”、我们的灵性哟。

好好珍惜罢！

^_^g

待人

待人真诚，言谈举止文雅，内心充满喜悦，那么苦恼就会消失得无影无踪。

情感是由前世的缘分和今世的怜爱所产生的，宛如莲花是由泥土和水所孕育而成的一样。

为了追求幸福和快乐，而把幸福和快乐建筑在别人的痛苦之上，那么所受到怨恨的困扰，是无法摆脱的。

平等地对待每一个人，而不论其贫富或贵贱，是一个人的美德，体现一个人的善良本性。

探视和关心照顾病人，可以使患者充满希望和快乐，精神为之一振，有助于早日康复。

人们爱戴忠于真理、谦虚、热诚、守信、尽职的人。

丈夫对待妻子的最佳方式：
〈一〉称赞妻子各方面的优点
〈二〉尊重妻子，永远不能轻视
〈三〉对妻子忠贞不二
〈四〉授予妻子处理家务的职权
〈五〉妻子生日、结婚周年，赠送精致的衣服或饰物，增进彼此情感。

妻子对待丈夫的最佳方式：
〈一〉把家务处理得井然有序
〈二〉关心帮助丈夫的亲属（丈夫的父母、兄弟等）
〈三〉对丈夫忠贞不二
〈四〉善于治家，衣食丰足，每月定量储蓄
〈五〉勤劳、整洁、大方、温柔。

处事为人的四项原则：
〈一〉慷慨施舍
〈二〉言谈体贴
〈三〉互相合作
〈四〉真诚有理
以上四项原则宛如是车子的油，能够使车轮转动自如。

乐意服务社会的人容易与别人相处，乐于助人而且关心对方的需要，诚恳而又耐心地教导别人。这种真诚的良善行为，一定会得到福报。

小孩子是不能跟他开玩笑的。小孩子没有知识，要跟着父母学习，听父母的教诲。现在你欺骗他，就是教儿子欺骗。

做家长的溺爱孩子，钱财任由他们享用，这样的孩子就会任意挥霍，任意挥霍就会使生活奢侈无度。

做家长的溺爱孩子而不忍心加以约束，不加约束的孩子就会骄傲放纵。

教子女学吃亏、谦逊、恭让，定是昌盛根基；教子女学刻薄、贪利、骄矜，便是灾殃先兆。

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虽然间中有关于夫妻之道和我们许多人还没有关系，但是那处事为人就和我们每个人有关了罢？嗯，没错，其实当我们因为开玩笑而和小孩儿有了欺骗的把戏时，这就是教坏他们的一种了。

^_^g

三字经 – 烽火戏诸侯

周辙东 王纲坠 逞干戈 尚游说
Zhou1 zhe2 dong1 wang2 gang1 zhui4 cheng3 gan1 ge1 shang4 you2 shui4


释义
周平王迁都洛阳后，周朝的统治就崩溃了。各诸侯之间战争频繁，当时的士大夫阶层也只重口才而不讲仁义。

故事
周朝后期，执政的幽王昏庸无道，有人献给他一个美女叫褒姒 (bao1 si4)，幽王非常喜欢她，但褒姒总是闷闷不乐。有个奸臣向幽王献计：“如果我们点燃烽火台上的烟火，附近的诸侯 (zhu1 hou2) 见了赶来，上个大当，娘娘见这么多兵马扑个空，保管会笑。”幽王真的命人点燃了烽火，诸侯来了知道上当后，都很生气，褒姒却真的笑了。可是，后来敌人真的来进犯，幽王再点燃烽火时却没有诸侯肯再来，幽王当了俘虏，为自己的无道付出了代价。

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嗯，馆主不晓得大家有没有听过这个故事，但是从不少历史记载看来，女人可都让国家陷入困境的呀。可能因为以前有很多帝王都想要好好地讨好自己的爱妃罢，所以才作出那么多可笑的事情来。但无论如何，馆主觉得就算要讨好爱妃，也不能拿对国家紧急的器材来开玩笑呀。所谓“一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳”，被戏弄了的诸侯当然不想再成为他人的笑柄、玩偶、或让人寻开心的工具，当然不再相信烽火台了。

我们是不是也这样呢？虽然如果再次被戏弄会很丢脸，但是馆主也觉得没有什么比国家的安危更重要不是吗？所以就算有可能会被戏弄，当烽火台上的烟火被点燃时也要前去看个究竟才好。在日常生活里，我们有时可能会被他人捉弄，但是不要因为如此就不再相信他人了。这世界上好人并不缺乏啊，用心点儿观察，那些平日看似坏人的人也并非真的是如此哦。所谓“人之初，性本善”嘛。哈哈！

加油！

^_^g

Make A Difference

虽然被查证为虚构故事，但是馆主认为这个故事极有可能是真正发生在这世上某个角落的某个人身上。教师节刚过不久，我们是否也曾经被一位关心着我们、爱护着我们、愿意相信我们的老师教导过呢？是否从记忆里浮现了一位我们曾经讨厌的老师，因为他/她经常因为我们的行为责骂过我们所以我们讨厌他/她？

现在回想起来，会不会觉得应该感激这位老师呢？如果不是他/她，我们可能一直沉陷下去。。当老师的，当然是要将眼前的孩子教导好。但是，能够在别人生命里尽一点而力的也可能是你和我哦。有时候，我们不经意的一句话、一个动作都有可能会对他人有所影响。所以要相信自己也可以 make a difference 罢！

^_^g

三字经 – 国人暴动

周武王 始诛纣 八百载 最长久


释义
周武王打败了商纣王后，开创了周朝八百年的天下，周朝是中国历史上延续时间最长的王朝。

故事
在成王、康王时期，周朝政局比较安定。后来，周厉王统治时，实施残酷的刑罚来镇压人民的反抗。都城内的人民不满厉王的暴虐统治，终于举行了一次大规模的暴动。起义的人群围攻王宫，要杀厉王，厉王仓皇逃走。此后，周朝由召公和周公共同执政，历史上称为“共和行政”。这一年，被称为共和元年，这以后中国历史才有了确切的纪年。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

残酷的刑罚真的是种可怕的行政方式。身为帝王的不是应该爱戴自己的子民的吗？大家看看我们现代有的暴君都被人民起义了。所以，还是以爱来治国好吧？

^_^g

"Hey You"

遵训先生介绍了这个音乐录像。是之前关于环保意识 "Live Earth" 的一个音乐录像。大家不妨听听看，然后想想我们是否可以为我们居住的地球尽一点儿力！

^_^g

─ 黑白老鼠 ─

这个故事很让人感触! 休息一下! 這個故事比喻的真是棒！

有一個人在森林中漫遊的時候，突然遇見了一隻飢餓的老虎，老虎大吼一聲就撲了上來。他立刻用生平最大的力氣和最快的速度逃開， 但是老虎緊追不捨，他一直跑一直跑一直跑，最後被老虎逼入了斷崖邊上。站在懸崖邊上，他想：「與其被老虎捉到，活活被咬、肢解，還不如跳入懸崖，說不定還有一線生機。」

他縱身跳入懸崖，非常幸運的卡在一棵樹上，那是長在斷崖邊的梅樹，樹上結滿了梅子。

正在慶幸的時候，他聽到斷崖深處傳來巨大的吼聲，往崖底望去，原來有一只兇猛的獅子正抬頭看著他，獅子的聲音使他心顫，但轉念一想：「獅子與老虎是相同的猛獸，被甚麼吃掉，都是一樣的。」

當他一放下心， 又聽見了一陣聲音，仔細一看，一黑一白的兩隻老鼠，正用力地咬著梅樹的樹幹。他先是一陣驚慌，立刻又放心了，他想：「被老鼠咬斷樹幹跌死，總比被獅子咬好。」

情緒平復下來後，他感到肚子有點餓，看到梅子長得正好，就採了一些吃起來。他覺得一輩子從沒吃過那麼好吃的梅子，找到一個三角形樹丫休息，他想著：「既然遲早都要死，不如在死前好好睡上一覺吧！」

他在樹上沉沉的睡去了。睡醒之後，他發現黑白老鼠不見了，老虎、獅子也不見了。他順著樹枝， 小心翼翼的攀上懸崖，終於脫離險境。

原來就在他睡著的時候，飢餓的老虎按捺不住，終於大吼一聲， 跳下懸崖。黑白老鼠聽到老虎的吼聲，驚慌逃走了。跳下懸崖的老虎與崖下的獅子展開激烈的打鬥，雙雙負傷逃走了。

由我們誕生那一刻開始，苦難，就像飢餓的老虎一直追趕著我們;
死亡，就像一頭兇猛的獅子，一直在懸崖的盡頭等待;
白天和黑夜的交替，就像黑白老鼠，不停地正用力咬著我們暫時棲身的生活之樹，總有一天我們會落入獅子的口中。

既然知道了生命中最壞的情景是死亡，唯一的路，就是安然地享受樹上甜美的果子，然後安心地睡覺，只有存著這樣單純的心、少慾望、多一點赤子之心。

最近常常聽到朋友的親友去世的消息，除了安慰了幾句外好像什麼都不能做了，恐怕有一天自己亦會成為別人口中的壞消息，所以你們有沒有好好的享受你在世上的每一分每一秒 ?

如果剛才你和另一半或是和家人為了芝麻綠豆的事鬧翻了，現在頭頂還在生煙的話，請你看看那晴朗的天空和那飄渺的白雲，其實你又錯過了美好的一天呀!

有些朋友雖然不常聯絡，卻偶爾寄個E-mail 、也許是一些笑話、溫馨小品，或是小遊戲給你，這表示他一直在關心著你，他將你放在心裡，也珍惜彼此的友誼。


因此，要時時心存好意！
腳走好路！身行好事，惜緣種福 ...... 。

願所有收到這封信的朋友都能平安．健康．幸福．

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在新一个月份的开始，馆主想感谢若嫦小姐与大家分享的这篇故事。也许我们就更应该用平常心去面对生命中的各种变化、无法控制的种种、等。越能坦然面对，越能克服，不是吗？馆主记得以前有一部戏里头有那么一句话：“跌倒时别忘了同时仰望天空，因为你会看见美丽的彩虹和蓝蓝的天空在对你微笑！”

也许这篇故事读起来会有点儿难读得懂，但是只要记住要时时心存好意哦！

^_^g