Not Making Negative Meanings
Ever since we were conscious of ourselves and our surroundings, we’ve been trying to perceive or “make meaning” of things. We do this all the time, with everything – a child gleefully laps up an ice-cream cone, because to him, it tastes sweet and cool. To a person watching his weight, the same ice-cream cone may mean an extra hour at the gym. A tree, to the average person, is simply a big plant. To a conservationist, it’s a precious resource to be saved.
It’s human instinct to create meaning for ourselves. How we feel is based largely on how we “make meaning” of people, events, and things, and sometimes, we can create unnecessary worry or pain for ourselves by making negative meanings. For some of us, this happens so often that it affects our relationships, peace of mind, self-esteem, and work performance.
Here are some common examples of how we create needless pain for ourselves.
When our partner seems too busy to pick us up, or forgets the anniversary of the day we met, we think that he or she no longer loves us. Or when a friend cancels a date and we imagine that he or she doesn’t like our company. You say “hello” to someone you admire at work and he or she doesn’t seem to see you. Does that mean he or she doesn’t like me? Does it mean that I’m a nobody? Maybe I’m not good enough for his or her attention. Did someone say something bad about me?
You see how this kind of negative self-talk can be pointless and damaging? The real reason is probably that he or she really did not see you or was preoccupied with a particularly stressful dilemma. Whatever the reason, who knows? Why speculate?
The next time you’re faced with an emotional reaction, get in the habit of asking yourself, “What am I making this mean”? Stop your mind from derailing. Connect with reality. Is your perception the only reality? The only possible conclusion? Aren’t there simply too many to fathom?
Consider shifting from a limited view of yourself. Focus on what’s positive, larger and perhaps more true about you. Let go of the negative self-talk. Once you eliminate the endless mind loops of fear and self-doubt that come from second-guessing, from making meaning without the facts, you free up your energy. Can you imagine how this could improve your relationships? How much more peaceful your world can be?
How could you use your time and energy in more positive and enjoyable ways?
source: Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio
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哇，不知不觉已经在这个小小天地分享了 200 则故事。哈哈！时间过得真快不是吗？如果我们用一片刻的时间好好地回顾我们的一生，是不是也发现我们很多时候会很悲观地去看待别人对待我们的方式呢？其实，我国我们有去反省那还好，可是很多时候我们也就只停留在“他不喜欢我；他针对我”的想法而已，所以我们一直埋怨，一直觉得天理何在。为什么要别自己狭窄的心胸所限制呢？
放开胸怀，好好地享受活着的每一份每一秒吧！
^_^g
It’s human instinct to create meaning for ourselves. How we feel is based largely on how we “make meaning” of people, events, and things, and sometimes, we can create unnecessary worry or pain for ourselves by making negative meanings. For some of us, this happens so often that it affects our relationships, peace of mind, self-esteem, and work performance.
Here are some common examples of how we create needless pain for ourselves.
When our partner seems too busy to pick us up, or forgets the anniversary of the day we met, we think that he or she no longer loves us. Or when a friend cancels a date and we imagine that he or she doesn’t like our company. You say “hello” to someone you admire at work and he or she doesn’t seem to see you. Does that mean he or she doesn’t like me? Does it mean that I’m a nobody? Maybe I’m not good enough for his or her attention. Did someone say something bad about me?
You see how this kind of negative self-talk can be pointless and damaging? The real reason is probably that he or she really did not see you or was preoccupied with a particularly stressful dilemma. Whatever the reason, who knows? Why speculate?
The next time you’re faced with an emotional reaction, get in the habit of asking yourself, “What am I making this mean”? Stop your mind from derailing. Connect with reality. Is your perception the only reality? The only possible conclusion? Aren’t there simply too many to fathom?
Consider shifting from a limited view of yourself. Focus on what’s positive, larger and perhaps more true about you. Let go of the negative self-talk. Once you eliminate the endless mind loops of fear and self-doubt that come from second-guessing, from making meaning without the facts, you free up your energy. Can you imagine how this could improve your relationships? How much more peaceful your world can be?
How could you use your time and energy in more positive and enjoyable ways?
source: Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
哇，不知不觉已经在这个小小天地分享了 200 则故事。哈哈！时间过得真快不是吗？如果我们用一片刻的时间好好地回顾我们的一生，是不是也发现我们很多时候会很悲观地去看待别人对待我们的方式呢？其实，我国我们有去反省那还好，可是很多时候我们也就只停留在“他不喜欢我；他针对我”的想法而已，所以我们一直埋怨，一直觉得天理何在。为什么要别自己狭窄的心胸所限制呢？
放开胸怀，好好地享受活着的每一份每一秒吧！
^_^g
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