Touching Story

When i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.''

The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

处世态度

A story by fifteenth-century religious reformer:

One day, he walked past a huge building site in the blistering sun, full of men carrying bricks, all streaming with sweat.

He went to ask the first man: "What are you doing?"
That man said, in a very surly manner: "Can't you see? It's hard labour --- carrying bricks!"

He tried his question on a second person. This man's attitude was a lot more placid than the first: he stacked the bricks he was carrying into a neat pile, ran his eyes over them, and then he said: "I'm building a wall."

After that he went to ask a third person. There was a sort of cheerful, kindly glow to the man as he put down the bricks he was carrying, raised his head, wiping away the sweat, and said very proudly: "Are you asking me? We're building a church."

We can see that the things these three people were doing were identical in every way, but their explanations were entirely different.

The first man's attitude: pessimism. He regarded everything we do as just another burden in a life of toil, focusing on the hardship of the moment (which of course really does exist).

The second man's attitude: professionalism. He knew he was building a wall, and this wall was part of a completed product, and that he had to do his best and earn his wages. It was his professional duty and his attitude is well up to standard for professionalism. As a vessel, he was more than adequate, but he did not have any higher calling.

The third kind of attitude: idealist attitude. That is to say, he sees every brick in front of him at that moment, and every drop of sweat and he knows that all these are leading to the creation of a sacred place, a church. He knows that every step he takes is of value, and he knows what the final result of all his hard work will be. At this time, he works as more than just a vessel. The things he does are connected to our lives, to our dreams, to whether we can finally build a church. And at the same time, because he is immersed in the dream of a church, he goes beyond individual success to achieve something much greater.

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馆主在想，我们是否常常犯到了因为太过于执着眼前的一些人事物而忘记了些什么？没错，眼前的才是在我们控制范围内。但是，你有没有想过，是否就因为我们将所有的力气和注意力放在了这些人事物上所以变得特别不快乐？我们是不是忘了还有更重要的东西在等着我们？

我们是否能将眼光放得更阔更远？是否能有更宽大包容的心？是否愿意为了更宏大的梦想而自我牺牲？

馆主觉得这个故事很有意思，所以就想和学习馆的各位分享。不知道你有何感想？留言分享吧！

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Dealing with Stressful Events and People

When stressful events and people are getting us down, we often feel disappointed, helpless, angry or even desperate because we are trying to find a simple explanation by judging the situation in absolute terms.

We may have banked our future or staked our near-term happiness on certain outcomes or people. When these do not give us the results we want, we feel as if life has suddenly lost its meaning.

We typically blame others, blame ourselves, and regret the decisions we think we made poorly. Maybe we assume our efforts have come to naught, or we've been dealth an unspeakable injustice. We may assume that we can never be happy again. We might imagine that there is no way out of this stalemate. We may also put a moral judgement on the event or person, even on ourselves.

Most of our emotional turmoil comes from making these negative assumptions. But if you take some time to clear your mind and think about these critically, you'll realise that most of them are simply conjecture. Products of an overactive imagination that's scrambling for answers. Answers that can only be real to you because they stem from your own thoughts.

So if a stressful event or person is sending you into a tailspin, stop and ask yourself... What is it exactly that's making you feel horrible? Is it a real issue? Or something you imagined? Is any one party completely at fault? Is what's making you feel bad really some deep insecurity within yourself?

We often remain stuck because we choose to focus on things that are really quite impossible to validate. External factors that we have no control over. We often make black and white judgements that allow us to assign absolute blame. But this kind of focus keeps us stuck.

The only way out of this is to point your thoughts towards things you can actually be sure of, things that you can actually influence. These are your own motivations, actions, feelings, and decisions.

So what's the bigger picture? What's the deeper wisdom? What are your real options? If you're sure about something, then you can move on to how you're going to hold on to it, deal with it or improve the situation. With constructive action, you can often turn a calamity into an opportunity.


Adapted from 'A Slice of Life' by Eugene Loh

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你呢？是否也曾因为压力而错失了机会呢？

要加油哦！

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Molder of Dreams

by Clark Mollenhoff

Teachers …
You are the molders of their dreams,
the gods who build or crush
their young beliefs of right or wrong.

You are the spark that sets aflame the
poet's hand, or lights the flame
of some great singer's song.

You are the gods of the young, the very young.
You are the guardian of a million dreams.
Your every smile or frown can heal or pierce a heart.

Yours are a hundred lives, a thousand lives,
yours the pride of loving them, and the sorrow, too.

Your patient work, your touch, make you the gods of hope
who fill their souls with dreams
to make those dreams come true.

Excerpted from the Focus on the Family radio broadcast "Teacher of the Year" featuring Guy Doud. President Ronald Reagan read this poem to Doud when Doud received the 1986 National Teacher of the Year for the United States of America.

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每位曾经在你我生命中有何我们做过分享或是教导过我们的，今天也要好好地关心和感激他们哦！

教师节快乐！

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Power of Positive

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight.

As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high. My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did.

About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway.

I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, 'Bart, Hold on tightly.' So I did.

The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree. I scampered down the tree to safety.

My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, 'Tammy, don't fall!' And Tammy did... fall. My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.

For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, 'Don't drop it!' Naturally, I dropped the ball. My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper 'self-talk.' They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, 'Okay, try to drop the pencil.' Observe what they do. Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, 'You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.' Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil. The point is made. If you tell your brain you will 'give it a try,' you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a 'no try' rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort?

You will never hear the words 'I'll try' come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar. If you 'try' and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. 'Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.' People respect honesty. So remove the word 'try' from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.' Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction. So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ' I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc.'

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error. Examples:
Toxic phrase: 'Don't drop the ball!'
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: 'Catch the ball!'

Toxic phrase: 'You shouldn't watch so much television.'
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: 'I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!'

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

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感谢月莉小姐与学习馆分享那么棒的一篇文章。的确，很多时候，我们都因为自己的胆却而退缩，为做不到的事情找借口。如果我们都能更坦然面对真实的自己，那么相信世界会更好。

加油吧，相信自己，也给他人机会证明自己。只要相信，就有可能。秘诀在于使用“正面的理念和字眼”--- 要多用“我可以的”、“我行的”、等。当我们嘴边老是挂着我们不希望别人做到的事时，他们往往会因为我们说出的这些字眼而用这潜意识来行事。

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