Dealing with Stressful Events and People
When stressful events and people are getting us down, we often feel disappointed, helpless, angry or even desperate because we are trying to find a simple explanation by judging the situation in absolute terms.
We may have banked our future or staked our near-term happiness on certain outcomes or people. When these do not give us the results we want, we feel as if life has suddenly lost its meaning.
We typically blame others, blame ourselves, and regret the decisions we think we made poorly. Maybe we assume our efforts have come to naught, or we've been dealth an unspeakable injustice. We may assume that we can never be happy again. We might imagine that there is no way out of this stalemate. We may also put a moral judgement on the event or person, even on ourselves.
Most of our emotional turmoil comes from making these negative assumptions. But if you take some time to clear your mind and think about these critically, you'll realise that most of them are simply conjecture. Products of an overactive imagination that's scrambling for answers. Answers that can only be real to you because they stem from your own thoughts.
So if a stressful event or person is sending you into a tailspin, stop and ask yourself... What is it exactly that's making you feel horrible? Is it a real issue? Or something you imagined? Is any one party completely at fault? Is what's making you feel bad really some deep insecurity within yourself?
We often remain stuck because we choose to focus on things that are really quite impossible to validate. External factors that we have no control over. We often make black and white judgements that allow us to assign absolute blame. But this kind of focus keeps us stuck.
The only way out of this is to point your thoughts towards things you can actually be sure of, things that you can actually influence. These are your own motivations, actions, feelings, and decisions.
So what's the bigger picture? What's the deeper wisdom? What are your real options? If you're sure about something, then you can move on to how you're going to hold on to it, deal with it or improve the situation. With constructive action, you can often turn a calamity into an opportunity.
Adapted from 'A Slice of Life' by Eugene Loh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
你呢？是否也曾因为压力而错失了机会呢？
要加油哦！
^_^g
We may have banked our future or staked our near-term happiness on certain outcomes or people. When these do not give us the results we want, we feel as if life has suddenly lost its meaning.
We typically blame others, blame ourselves, and regret the decisions we think we made poorly. Maybe we assume our efforts have come to naught, or we've been dealth an unspeakable injustice. We may assume that we can never be happy again. We might imagine that there is no way out of this stalemate. We may also put a moral judgement on the event or person, even on ourselves.
Most of our emotional turmoil comes from making these negative assumptions. But if you take some time to clear your mind and think about these critically, you'll realise that most of them are simply conjecture. Products of an overactive imagination that's scrambling for answers. Answers that can only be real to you because they stem from your own thoughts.
So if a stressful event or person is sending you into a tailspin, stop and ask yourself... What is it exactly that's making you feel horrible? Is it a real issue? Or something you imagined? Is any one party completely at fault? Is what's making you feel bad really some deep insecurity within yourself?
We often remain stuck because we choose to focus on things that are really quite impossible to validate. External factors that we have no control over. We often make black and white judgements that allow us to assign absolute blame. But this kind of focus keeps us stuck.
The only way out of this is to point your thoughts towards things you can actually be sure of, things that you can actually influence. These are your own motivations, actions, feelings, and decisions.
So what's the bigger picture? What's the deeper wisdom? What are your real options? If you're sure about something, then you can move on to how you're going to hold on to it, deal with it or improve the situation. With constructive action, you can often turn a calamity into an opportunity.
Adapted from 'A Slice of Life' by Eugene Loh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
你呢？是否也曾因为压力而错失了机会呢？
要加油哦！
^_^g
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